Jennifer Rountree (bgsu18) wrote,
Jennifer Rountree

The holidays

This Thanksgiving is going to be hard. Hard because the 22nd is the day my grandpa went into the hospital last year. Wednesday the 22nd at 8:10 am. He passed Tuesday, November 28th at 7:05 pm. My family is really having a hard time. Honestly, it's easier for me. I've got a baby inside of me.. if nothing else, that blessing can always put a smile on your face. I don't think my papaw would want me to be miserable. I think he would want me to enjoy this holiday and rejoice in our blessings and mourn for him in a happy way.. remembering the good times and not the last week we had with him around this time. I just feel so bad for my grandma. And it's so amazing she's made it a year. She's had some really rough spots and she continues to get worse.. but she is hanging in there. And I'm so incredibly grateful for this last year with her. Death is a horrible thing, but I like to believe God gives us blessings and small things to help us cope with losing a loved one. If my papaw hadn't passed away I wouldn't have seen my grandma near as much. I would still visit.. but she needs me. She needs me there. And that's what keeps me there even on days when I'm too tired and don't feel like being out. And when I look back and even when I look now.. I am so grateful for this time with her.
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